The cold, hard truth...from an 11-year old

Several months ago, when we were on vacation for spring break, we were getting ready to go swimming in the hotel pool, when PJ says, “Mom, you kind of have grandma legs.” I was kind of taken back a little, and said sarcastically, “Gee, thanks!” So, then he starts trying to make it better by saying, “No, what I mean is that they are just kind of white and bumpy.” (EVEN BETTER!!) He said he didn’t mean to hurt my feelings or anything, and I just explained that even if they are true, there are just some things that you don’t say. Well, a couple weeks later, we were in the grocery store, and PJ noticed one of the tabloid magazines with one of the stars and her new twins. He asked how old she was. I said probably around our age or close to it. He said, “not to offend you or anything, but she looks a lot younger than you.” Apparently he hadn’t learned the lesson the first time. He’s also told me that I have soft, squishy arms. The latest self-esteem building comment that he made was today, after school. He was talking about how his new Spanish teacher at school looks so young, but has a son his age, so she must have had him when she was really young. I said that maybe she just looks young for her age, because people have told me the same thing. Then he says, “yea, but she doesn’t have any wrinkles.” I start laughing and said, “So, are you saying that I have wrinkles?” Then he tries to backpedal and says, “well, your cheeks are smooth, but you have a few little wrinkles by your eyes.” I guess I asked for it, huh?! So, according to my sweet, loving, and much too honest 11-year old son, I have “grandma legs, soft squishy arms, and wrinkles.” It’s a darn good thing that I cover the hump on my back, pluck the nose hairs, and put in my dentures every morning, or he’d really have something to talk about! It’s a good thing that I love him so much! But I might have to invest in some duct tape to keep his mouth closed sometimes!